Call it what you will – overly commercialized, a Hallmark holiday, etc. – but Valentine’s Day holds a special place in my heart. February is an otherwise bleak month (the doldrums of winter, if you will). But Valentine’s Day is a sweet spot amidst it all. Shop windows are suddenly littered with red and pink, candy hearts (“text me!”) burst onto the scene, and snail mail, for a brief moment, isn’t entirely bills. We suddenly have an excuse for adult arts and crafts. My friend Laura, to this day, sends our entire friend group the happiest handmade valentines. This is the energy we need! Nostalgia and valentines aside, there is a very legitimate reason to love this holiday: it’s genuinely good for our health. It turns out, experiencing and expressing love (in all its forms) triggers a cascade of feel good chemicals in our bodies, unlocking natural health benefits we wouldn’t otherwise be enjoying.
And no, I’m not just referring to romance; platonic, familial (yes & pets!), self-love, and romantic love are all fair game. Expressing any of these kinds of love contributes significantly to our overall well-being. And if you’re rolling your eyes, I hear you. I have absolutely fallen victim to the negative narrative around Valentine’s Days in years past. If you’re feeling that “I’m so single” energy, trust me – I get it. The singlest I’ve ever felt was on a Valentine’s Day maybe ten years ago, when, following dinner and a movie (Fifty Shades Darker, lol) with two of my (also single) best friends, some rude character on Bumble matched with me and promptly declared: “you’re a six.” The West Village restaurant we went to for dinner had shoved us into their dungeon of a basement at a long table with all the other single ladies with reservations that night. But, you know what? Looking back now, I realize that night was, in its own way, a celebration of platonic love with two of my best friends. Now that I have a family and free time is scarce, I cherish memories and moments like that with friends more than I realized I would.
If you’re still feeling skeptical about leaning in to Valentine’s Day – hear me out. I’m not encouraging you to book a crazy dinner reservation or go all out with gifts. Instead, I’m simply saying - drop the cynicism and embrace today as an opportunity to show a little love to the people in your life. It will make you feel good, too, I promise! This year, rather than being a cynic or succumbing to the obligatory afterthought of a gift, let’s simply relish in the very thing the holiday was intended to celebrate: LOVE! Here are a few powerful reasons to lean in (do it for your health!), as well as some non-commercial ways to celebrate that require little to no forethought. Most importantly, Happy Valentine’s Day to all my Lacey List readers - I genuinely love you more than you know!
Experiencing and expressing love and connection has been shown to:
Increase the production of feel-good hormones (like serotonin, dopamine, and oxytocin)
Reduce anxiety and depression
Enhance self-esteem and sense of security
Improve cognitive function and memory
Lower blood pressure and stress hormones (like cortisol)
Boost our immune system
Reduce inflammation in the body (!!!)
Help us manage chronic pain through oxytocin release
Improve heart health and cardiovascular function
Improve sleep quality
It turns out a hug is a powerful thing. A recent hugging study found that a 20-second hug can significantly de-escalate stress and increase oxytocin, a chemical in our bodies often referred to as the “cuddle hormone,” associated with happiness and lower stress. Oxytocin levels rise naturally when we hug, touch, or sit close to someone we love. And that’s not all! In just 20 seconds, per Healthline, a hug can reduce stress by showing support, protect you against illness, boost your heart health, make you happier, reduce your fears, help reduce your pain, improve communication. And I get that 20 seconds is an eternity as far as hugs are concerned. My brother started laughing as I was telling him about this and challenged me to start hugging everyone for 20 seconds, with zero disclaimer. I’ll let you know how this goes. But, in all seriousness, if you’re looking to feel better about yourself, reduce stress, communicate better, and be a happier, healthier version of yourself, a daily 20-second hug is a good place to start.
Express Gratitude
Write heartfelt notes to the ones you love! Friends! Parents! Boyfriends! Girlfriends! Husbands! Wives! Nieces! Nephews! Daughters! Sons! Teachers! Mentors! The list goes on. Get specific and focus in on attributes you love about each person or what you appreciate most about your relationship.
Send a voice note to a far away friend.
Good old-fashioned phone call catch-up (easier said than done, I know - I’m so bad with this).
A genuine compliment.
Physical Connection
Hugs!!! Preferably for 20 seconds or more.
Hold hands!
Give and receive massages.
Cuddle with pets. (Or babies! Cuddling with Elsie is literal heaven).
Quality Time:
Cook meals together.
Take a walk with someone you love.
Put your phone far, far away and give the other person your undivided attention.
Acts of Service:
Do small favors without being asked (like if Tim made the bed today…).
Help with tasks that stress your loved ones.
Deliver a care package to a friend going through something.
Creative Expression:
Make handmade Valentine's (my favorite!).
Create a photo album or video of your favorite memories (our iPhones make this ridiculously easy now - can be as simple as sending an already made memory to a friend).
Paint or draw something meaningful for someone.
By the way, if you haven’t already seen it, Pete Davidson as Reformation’s “perfect boyfriend” gets so much of this right. Take notes! Also hats off to the Ref team because this is A+ marketing. I can’t stop thinking about it.
I ran out of my Linné Botanicals Activate body scrub this week and it was the fastest reorder ever. When I tell you this stuff transforms your shower into a luxurious spa, I’m not exaggerating. Eucalyptus is a key ingredient, which not only makes for an intoxicating scent, it leaves you feeling fresh and READY. Just so there are no surprises - it is made with charcoal so the soap itself is a dark grey. As long as you’re good with that, it’s a 10/10. The signature size lasted me six months (August until yesterday) even though I use it every time I shower!
Speaking of luxurious spa-like showers, I finally have a robe to match that vibe. I’ve been curious about Weezie for a while but this is my first time trying. So far, I’m a fan!
This is a random pivot, but we’re in Montecito this week and stumbled into Honor Bar’s cute little shop in the lower village. This Shinola power strip struck me as such a cool, creative gift. I want it for myself but also for like a cool, design minded guy friend who cares what his desk looks like.
I loved this Valentine’s themed dinner party letter from the ever-chic and inspiring
. It’s never too late to have one (and who doesn’t love a RED theme any time??). Also, as we just discussed, LOVE is worthy catalyst for gathering any day of the year.We’re in peak lounge-around season for at least another month (realistically more), so I’ve had my eye on Suzie Kondi’s cozy terry sets. I LOVE an elbow length sleeve so this in Corfu is top of my list (with these to match?). Or, you could keep it on theme and go with the red.
I recently bought a HEPA air filter for my car and it’s been bringing SO MUCH peace of mind. More on this soon but, even with the Los Angles wildfires aside, car interiors contain so many VOCs and air pollutants. If you’re driving around with a baby or young kids in the back like I am, this seems like a worthy investment.
As always, thank you for reading! Wishing you a very love-filled Valentine’s Day!
Aw thanks for including me!! Loved this issue. 20 sec hugs all around!!!
I'm ready for my hug -- and make mine a 40, please 🥰🥰🥰. I love you to the moon and back; thank you for this Valentine, Lacey!