Make An Accomplishments List
A Mental Health Hack to Combat Negativity Bias
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A few nights ago, I polished off an entire pint of Arctic Zero (Purely Chocolate) topped with Lily’s Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chips. If that’s not an indicator of the type of day I was having, I don’t know what is. But, actually, as I lay there horizontally on the couch, I realized: nothing about my day had gone wrong. My “bad day,” in fact, had nothing to do with the day’s events and everything to do with my energy and mood. If you’ve ever found yourself feeling this way, I have a simple trick to help snap you out of it.
It turns out I was wiped out! The day prior had been an amazing day by all accounts, but exhausting. I drove to the city from Long Island for my first time this summer (which, of course, took hours in the rain and morning traffic). We had a three-hour photoshoot followed by an event hosted by Rothy’s and
, the exceptional writer and rising star behind the popular Substack FeedMe. The room was full of inspiring, accomplished women (and men!), many of them FeedMe readers. I always get a buzz after these events, having had such a great time meeting and mingling with friends old and new, which made the drive back out to Long Island at 10PM bearable. But the next day? I crashed hard. And it wasn’t just a physical crash – it was a barrage of mental negativity, with my brain zeroing in on everything I haven’t done yet. My to-do list for that week? Incomplete. And, as much as I love being with inspiring, successful people, that next day my brain went full tilt on the negative: why don’t you have a Substack that pays the bills? Why aren’t you an entrepreneur working for yourself by 24? Etc. etc. etc.To get out of this rut, I did two important things: First, I let myself rest. Yes, I was working, but I listened to my body and didn’t force physical activity. And second, I made an accomplishments list. I’ve had this hack banked for a rainy day since reading Liz Moody’s 100 Ways To Change Your Life. The premise behind it is simple, and Liz explains it perfectly in her book: “We spend a lot of time counting the things we need to do, and shockingly little time counting the things we have done, which can lead to disproportionately negative feelings about the way we spend our time. The reason for this is adaptive and evolutionary: our brains are designed to focus on threats to our survival.”
It turns out all of us have a natural tendency to overemphasize the negative. To remedy this, productivity expert Chris Bailey created the concept of an accomplishments list. “If you feel like you’re not making any progress in your life, once a week, write down everything you’ve accomplished,” he says. He recommends breaking it down by context in your life: work, home, family, social life. We are all bigger than just our careers, and sometimes it’s hard to remember that. You can even break the list down further, Bailey says, by the different roles you have: employee, business owner, mother, father, daughter, friend, etc. (whatever way makes sense for you!). “Just write down everything you accomplish. All the milestones you hit, all the projects you finish, all the people you help.”
To take it a step further, Bailey urges us to make a bigger list annually, noting ten to twenty milestones you hit or accomplishments you successfully completed that year. “Many of us have productivity dysmorphia,” Bailey points out, “where we think we accomplish less than we do.” And if the act of making a list sounds like a waste of time to you, consider this: “Simply lingering in the good feeling of having succeeded at something will literally rewire your neural pathways.”
To make this process easier, you can keep a running list of completed tasks and accomplishments on your phone rather than waiting until the end of the week to do it. When I check things off, whether that’s presenting something at work, sending out this newsletter, or doing something for Elsie, on my list it goes! Then, when I’m feeling down or negative, I can reference the list for a reminder of all that I’m doing and have done!
To summarize, the crux of it is this: we are all doing more than we give ourselves mental credit for. And comparison is an easy way to fuel that inevitable “I’m not doing enough” thought-spiral. Taking time to pause and appreciate all that you’re doing (ie more than you think!!) is a great way to gently remind yourself that you’re doing your best!
If you’re interested in productivity, Chris Bailey (mentioned above) is also a best-selling author of two books: The Productivity Project and How to Calm Your Mind. He also writes a newsletter that I just subscribed to and his “rule of 3” is something I’ve been incorporating since January.
The aforementioned “rule of 3” is a prioritization ritual where Bailey suggests you write down three things you want to accomplish today. Then, do the same thing for this week. Finally, write three things you want to achieve this year. This note pad just so happens to have distinct lines for three daily priorities, making it the perfect companion for someone using the rule of 3.
Last week over drinks, Speechify came up. It’s a text-to-speech tool that turns anything (emails, articles, books) into audio. I upgraded to paid and even had the voice of Gwneyth Paltrow narrating my audio. If you’re someone who is constantly in the car or on the move, I suggest giving it a try!
New hair products from Lolavie just hit my doorstep and I can’t wait to work them into my routine. I got their Exfoliate & Detox Scalp Shampoo, Restorative Conditioner, and Glossing Detangler. I’ll report back.
I conveniently forgot my hairdryer in LA, so I’ve been air drying my hair. ROZ’s Hair Milk is working its magic for me. I think of it the same way I do my face moisturizer: every time I go to moisturize my face, I now take this step to moisturize my hair, too. It’s an amazing way to proactively combat that dry summer frazzle that creeps in!
I know we know this, but a reminder that…
The ta-da list! I need this in my life. I’m constantly berating myself for not being/doing more/better.
Rather than recognize what I’ve done, I’m looking ahead at what remains undone.
This article was just what I needed.
Also the rule of 3. Great suggestion. Much more manageable than the exhaustive lists I keep in my head, which are never fully completed and always leave me feeling guilty.
Thank you for writing.
I call it my ta-da list.
It lives above my action list in the daily notes of my second brain (Capacities). I hardly ever look back through it. The craziest, stupidest thing is that when I'm in a dip, I stop doing it because I then avoid everything that even smacks of "should" (demand avoidance in the extreme).
Unwise is too kind a word for it. Because looking back through previous ta-da lists would go a long way to get me out of a dip. Then again, in a dip, my inner critic gets loud and would diminish everything on that ta-da list. Dilemma.
Way out is surprisingly simple: act, do. Anything. Don't overthink it (that's one of the causes for a dip anyway).
While normally, I'd say do less, be more, when you're in a dip you want to be doing, not being. And you want to postpone thinking (about the big things) until you've clawed your way out (mostly anyway).