Self-Destructive Behavior
Do you ever just have one of those days? The kind that gets away from you before you can even wake up and make sense of your to-do list? The kind that has you downing cold brew (like tequila) just to clear the cobwebs from your brain?
Monday was one of those days for me. I didn’t have a chance to move AT ALL. I was in a flustered, exhausted, and negative headspace. I had a *giant* block of cheese around noon, paired with some arugula and olive oil, and called it lunch. I don’t usually drink during the week but as soon as it was an appropriate hour, I had that glass of rosé poured over ice. For dessert, fistfuls of chocolate chips, despite swearing off sugar the day before (I’m battling candida right now so limiting sugar is something I’m really trying to do. Dr. Nigma, if you’re reading this, look away!). I was grasping at anything to help fade my Monday away.
If you aren’t careful, days like these can kick off a downward spiral that quickly gains momentum. This has me thinking.
Before I beat myself up for having a sub-par day, I should recognize that I’m human. Life is full of ups and downs, and some days are better than others. I try to be a mostly positive person, but sometimes I get flustered, overwhelmed, and just down!! When I do, I’ve noticed I tend to seek out self-destructive behavior, intentional or not. Caffeine, cheese, alcohol, sugar. The good stuff. 😈 Or so it feels in the moment. I believe these are called vices and many forms exist, some more destructive than others.
What if we flipped this narrative? What if, when having a bad day, we went out of our way to take care of ourselves instead? Incorporating things like a slow morning, walking meetings, or a little time in nature. Instead of downing more caffeine and setting yourself up for an anxious day, why not instead recognize, “I’m struggling today.” What can you do to be a little slower, kinder, and gentler with yourself? Why is the default semi-intentional destruction? Other people must do this too, right? Or is it just me?
(I’m talking as much to my current and future self here as I am to you…)
Night Walks
Some days movement just doesn’t have a place on my calendar, and those are often the days I feel the ickiest. One of my favorite ways to blow off steam at the end of the day is a night (or evening) walk. Couldn’t fit it in? WALK IT OUT AFTER WORK. I’m lucky to be living right now in a remote enough place that I can see stars. I put my headphones on, get on a fire playlist, turn it ALL THE WAY UP*, and walk. Sometimes this turns into a two hour+ walk! I wake up the next morning feeling totally refreshed. *Not recommended, however, for those living in certain parts of LA or other cities (especially with the volume turned all the way up!)
Morning Non-Negotiables
Sarah Wragge, nutrition expert, health strategist, and founder of Sarah Wragge Wellness, talks about her “three non-negotiables before 10 AM,” and they make so much sense. They are: (1) drink a liter of water, (2) get some morning movement, and (3) spend time with family. On the days when I prioritize these things, I feel so set up for a happier, more productive day! It always ends up being worth the time investment in the morning.
Child’s Pose
It might feel dramatic, but when I’m really having a day, I will literally get into child’s pose. On the ground. I believe this is also called fetal position?! It sounds extreme, but I swear it works. It’s grounding in a way that can reset even the worst of days. Bonus points if you can do some breathing here too. It will really reset you.
A Really Good Cry
Did you know crying (and I mean REALLY crying) resets your nervous system? Our culture has created so much shame around crying but it’s actually our body’s natural response to overwhelmingness. When it doubt, cry it out! Need inspiration? Here is a list of movies that guarantee a really good cry.
Hug Someone You Love
I don’t mean a half-assed, three second hug-like gesture. I mean a REAL HUG. For me, when upset, this usually (simultaneously) unlocks a really good cry (habit stacking, how productive!). Poor Tim is usually like, “is everything okay?!” Hugs have been shown to reduce stress, protect against illness, boost heart health, make you happier(!), reduce your fears, and improve communication with others. I mean, enough said! Many hugs > not enough.
Do Something Nice
…for someone else, with no expectation for anything in return. The karmic energy will be worth it, as will the mood boost it brings!
Speaking of mood boosting, here are a few links that made me happy this week: A chocolate bar that won’t spike your blood sugar. A banger of a playlist (perfect for that night walk). A soothing facial spray. SWW’s Alkalize powder (that is FINALLY back in stock!). A smart J. Crew x Maryam Nassir Zadeh collab I want to shop. Sophie Pavitt Clearing Serum. A colorful party bead necklace to make you smile, even when you’re having a day.
And with that, Happy Sunday! Wishing you a better Monday and week ahead than I had last week. Remember, there’s always child’s pose if you need it. :)
Lacey — I have so been there these past few days as the 10-day family vacation out west careening in an RV through Yellowstone, Jackson etc has been cancelled each day (since Saturday) because of the global IT crisis affecting airlines. Having planned for 6 months, and reworking things each day only to receive a new cancellation, it's been hard not to spiral. Coincidentally, I used to have Sarah Wragge as my nutritionist(!) and I do find strength in resetting each am with the fundamentals; it truly helps. xx
YES I love this!! We need input!!!